Lying to myself makes me feel heavy, somber and depressed. Telling my truth to myself makes me feel lighter, brighter and carefree. That's how I can tell the difference when I am lying to myself versus when I am telling my truth to myself.
Here is my truth about blogging today. I blog to have an outlet for my thoughts and feelings. Blogging is self-help therapy for me. Blogging help me sort out my thoughts and get clear about what I believe and what is really true for me regardless of what is true for other people.
Here are my lies about blogging before today. I told myself that I was blogging to become a famous writer. I was blogging to make money and become rich. I was blogging to help people. Those statements are all lies, lies I really believed. I believed those lies as my truth until blogging for those reasons started causing me a lot of pain and causing me to experience frustration and depression. The truth be told, I don't give a shit about being a famous writer, fame is overrated. And I don't want to be rich if the process of being rich makes me unhappy. And finally, helping other people is all bullshit. The only person I can truly help in myself... In most cases, other people don't want my help, so why waste my time writing a blog and giving self-help advice when no one asked for it.
I will admit, I get a kick out of people reading my stuff and leave me flattering comments. And I am thrilled when someone leave an unexpected donation in support of my blogging efforts but donations are so few and so far between that it makes me wonder why I have a donation button on my blog at all.
As I learned a long time ago, the truth is not always pretty, sometimes it can be downright ugly. This could be one of those times for you.
I don't know whether you will be back and read anything else I write but let's be clear, I am writing this blog for the sole purpose of me getting clear about my truths and lies so I can feel better about myself.
In truth, I don't give a shit about you or what you get out of my writings because it is not possible for me to give a shit about people I don't know and I don't know you...... unless you choose to leave a comment and tell me something about yourself and then I will care about you.....
One final thought. Going back over what I wrote to to make sure this post is free of grammar and typo errors, as a way of trying to impress you. is a royal pain in the ass for me. And in spite of my best efforts to make this piece of writing free of errors, I am sure some anal retentive perfectionist will discover I missed something and will want to bring it to my attention. If it is you, don't bother! Now, that my truth.
