If I didn't feel GUILT, I seriously believe that I would feel absolutely nothing at all

Too bad it wasn't until I was 40 something before I understood the concept of whatever you resist persists. As a good catholic boy, I resisted guilt with all of my might not realizing I was making guilt worse for myself.
 
After writing my last post Ex-Catholic - Public Confessor, I was bulldozed over with waves of guilt that drove me into unconsciousness (sleep). I felt deeply ashamed for writing that piece. Since I wrote it I have been expecting some righteous catholic to come along and blast me for it.  I expect to be told in very strong language that I am going to hell and there is no hope of salvation or redemption for me, ever.

The things I noticed with feeling the pain of my guilt is I wanted to lash out and strike back at the people who caused me to feel guilty in the first place. The problem is, there is no one to lash out or strike back at. All the people who poured their poisonous venom of guilt into my soul are long gone, dead and buried. May they all rot in hell for brainwashing little children into believing early on in life that we are nothing but worthless pieces of shit.

The emotional abuse that I endured at the hands of nuns and priests as a 'little one' is bad enough but the consequences of their actions have tormented and haunted me all of my adult life. Never confessed that one before.

After I wrote my last post about catholic guilt, I suddenly got itchy all over. It's like there is something in my skin trying to get out... Apparently there is... I have no idea where this all will lead me (maybe straight to hell on the express elevator) but on this blog  there will be no pretending by me about anything for any reason. I spent a lifetime of pretending and all it got me was more pain and unhappiness than one person should have to endure. The only reason I never committed suicide is thinking about it made me feel guilty. In that case, maybe guilt was a good thing.

As a good Irish catholic boy I became skilled at smiling on the outside while seething with anger, rage and resentment on the inside... No more pretending, if I want to growl like a f*cking bear and chew your ear off, I will. Getting this shit out of my system gotta be better than holding it in and having it turn to cancer on the inside.

If I have offended anyone with my coarse language like a good catholic boy I was raised to be, I apologize to you, NOT! That's my guilt ridden story and I am sticking to it.

 

Make Money TEXT Messaging, Click Here