10 Thought Provoking, Enlightening Posts

Click on the link or links of your choosing.

• Ex-Catholic - Public Confessor
• Is your ass wound tight around MONEY?
• Quickest way to get over a SICK Feeling
• Are you a Thief in the Night?
• Video made the hair on my neck stand up
• Do you suffer from the SIEGE Mentality?
• Don't let your critics hurt you over and over agai...
• Exposing my f*cked up subconscious mind
• 10 possible things your STRESS is telling you.
• Lying Makes us Sick and Depressed

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Focusing on NOW, and then NOW and the NOW after that will get you centered and focused again. http://ping.fm/rJHj3

Unhappiness has a Purpose..

The purpose of unhappiness is to make you realize that the happiness you seek is not out there somewhere, it lives within you.  It lives within the thoughts you think.

Unhappiness needs the past to exist (even if the past was only a second ago) or the future to exist (even if the future is only a minute from now) . The only way you can escape unhappiness is by living in the moment, by becoming fully absorbed in the moment.

Being fully absorbed in the moment squeezes unhappiness out of your mind when you are doing something you love doing that makes you happy to be alive.


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The first thing they should teach you coming out of your Mother's WOMB

After coming out of your mother's womb, they should slap you on the ass and yell in your ear repeatedly: Whatever you resist persists. They should teach you that the more you resist something you do not like,  the more power it has over you until what you 'don't like' begins sticking to you like super glue.

They should also teach you that whatever you resist not only gains more power over you, it controls your life until you stop resisting whatever it is you are resisting..

If I had known about  the 'whatever you resist persists' principle from birth, I would have lived a different life. I would have lived a life of 'allowing' things I did not like to harmlessly pass me by rather than resisting them with all of my might.

The more I resisted what I did not like, the more things I attracted into my life I did not like. Why? Because my focus was on what I didn't want rather than what I did want.  And, in accordance with the law of attraction , which I learned about later on in life, whatever I focus my attention on, I attract more of the same.

As a result of focusing on the shit in my life by resisting it, I became a shit magnet that brought me to where I am today. An unhappy person fed up with playing the games, fed up with pretending I am happy when I am not.

THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE BUT FIRST IT WILL PISS YOU OFF.

Since I started this process of 'being real,' I have found myself stumbling into a lot of dark holes in the basement of my mind that I don't like being in.  I don't know exactly when I started pretending to be something I was not but I do know I was very young,

I started pretending at a very early age because I quickly realized, even back then, that being yourself in this world and telling 'your truth' as a young kid was a dangerous thing to do.. Telling your truth to others got you judged, disapproved of and punished.


Who broke my favorite vase Jonathan?   'I did mommy'. (My Truth)

--Whack on the back of the head. --


Why are you playing in the dirt Jonathan? 'It is fun mommy'  (My Truth)

--Get your ass in the house, you need to take a bath now.--


Being yourself and telling your truth, as I discovered, at a very tender age was not safe. The only way to get through life was to lie (pretend) because you are going to be punished for telling your truth.

Why didn't you do your homework Jonathan?  'It wasn't fun to do teacher'. (My Truth)

---Note to my parents, detention after school ---

LESSON LEARNED, I AM AN ADULT NOW. I NO LONGER HAVE TO LIE OR PRETEND

I will no longer put any energy into resisting thoughts and feelings I do not like because if I do, I will continue to be unhappy rather than allowing the shit to clear out of my mind so I can be as happy and carefree as I want to be...

I am in the process of doing a house cleaning job by cleaning out the garbage in my mind.  I will no longer allow ugliness to live inside of me where it can pollute my soul and make me miserable. I will allow it to come up and out of me so I will be free of the thoughts and feelings that tormented me in the past.  I will do that by BEING REAL and being me....


 

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Hear the sound of my Blog Sucking...

This blog sucks. That how I feel about it tonight. What came into my mind to share with folks tonight sucks. I have wasted my time writing it and if people read any of the drivel I have posted tonight, it will be a waste of their time too. On the other hand, it is your constitutional right to read my drivel and if you do, I take no responsibility for the consequences of your actions after reading it. - Jon



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Emotional Hurt. Don't fix me, just get me.

Emotionally I am hurting a lot tonight.  I don't want you to give me any advice or try to fix me. I just want you to hear 'my truth'.   I remember sharing with the adults in my life, during my growing up years, that I was emotionally hurting.

I would no sooner get the words out of my mouth and immediately they would want to do something with my hurt from trying to fix me to telling me I shouldn't feel the way I do.

There is nothing worse than verbally trying to express your emotional hurt to someone you know and have them immediately judge you or want to fix you rather than just listen to you with a loving and non-judgmental ear.

I am telling you I am emotionally hurting tonight because for some reason telling another human being I am hurting makes the hurt begin to dissolve of its own accord.

On the other hand, if someone starts judging me or invalidating how I am  feeling right now, that action on their part makes me suppress what I am feeling rather than fully expressing it right out of my physical body.

If I do not fully express my hurt, my hurt then burrows itself into the cells of my body, eventually making a part of my body physically sick. Since I don't like to being physically sick, making an jackass out of myself by fully expressing my hurt to another person is a better option for me regardless of what other people think.

In life we are either depressing ourselves or fully expressing ourselves. Sad to say, few people get to fully express their truth (the good, bad and ugly of it) without someone judging them or telling them they shouldn't feel the way they do.. And that makes people hide how they really feel rather than 'healing what they feel' by fully expressing it out of their body until they hurt no more.

 

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If I didn't feel GUILT, I seriously believe that I would feel absolutely nothing at all

Too bad it wasn't until I was 40 something before I understood the concept of whatever you resist persists. As a good catholic boy, I resisted guilt with all of my might not realizing I was making guilt worse for myself.
 
After writing my last post Ex-Catholic - Public Confessor, I was bulldozed over with waves of guilt that drove me into unconsciousness (sleep). I felt deeply ashamed for writing that piece. Since I wrote it I have been expecting some righteous catholic to come along and blast me for it.  I expect to be told in very strong language that I am going to hell and there is no hope of salvation or redemption for me, ever.

The things I noticed with feeling the pain of my guilt is I wanted to lash out and strike back at the people who caused me to feel guilty in the first place. The problem is, there is no one to lash out or strike back at. All the people who poured their poisonous venom of guilt into my soul are long gone, dead and buried. May they all rot in hell for brainwashing little children into believing early on in life that we are nothing but worthless pieces of shit.

The emotional abuse that I endured at the hands of nuns and priests as a 'little one' is bad enough but the consequences of their actions have tormented and haunted me all of my adult life. Never confessed that one before.

After I wrote my last post about catholic guilt, I suddenly got itchy all over. It's like there is something in my skin trying to get out... Apparently there is... I have no idea where this all will lead me (maybe straight to hell on the express elevator) but on this blog  there will be no pretending by me about anything for any reason. I spent a lifetime of pretending and all it got me was more pain and unhappiness than one person should have to endure. The only reason I never committed suicide is thinking about it made me feel guilty. In that case, maybe guilt was a good thing.

As a good Irish catholic boy I became skilled at smiling on the outside while seething with anger, rage and resentment on the inside... No more pretending, if I want to growl like a f*cking bear and chew your ear off, I will. Getting this shit out of my system gotta be better than holding it in and having it turn to cancer on the inside.

If I have offended anyone with my coarse language like a good catholic boy I was raised to be, I apologize to you, NOT! That's my guilt ridden story and I am sticking to it.

 

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