Emotional Hurt. Don't fix me, just get me.

Emotionally I am hurting a lot tonight.  I don't want you to give me any advice or try to fix me. I just want you to hear 'my truth'.   I remember sharing with the adults in my life, during my growing up years, that I was emotionally hurting.

I would no sooner get the words out of my mouth and immediately they would want to do something with my hurt from trying to fix me to telling me I shouldn't feel the way I do.

There is nothing worse than verbally trying to express your emotional hurt to someone you know and have them immediately judge you or want to fix you rather than just listen to you with a loving and non-judgmental ear.

I am telling you I am emotionally hurting tonight because for some reason telling another human being I am hurting makes the hurt begin to dissolve of its own accord.

On the other hand, if someone starts judging me or invalidating how I am  feeling right now, that action on their part makes me suppress what I am feeling rather than fully expressing it right out of my physical body.

If I do not fully express my hurt, my hurt then burrows itself into the cells of my body, eventually making a part of my body physically sick. Since I don't like to being physically sick, making an jackass out of myself by fully expressing my hurt to another person is a better option for me regardless of what other people think.

In life we are either depressing ourselves or fully expressing ourselves. Sad to say, few people get to fully express their truth (the good, bad and ugly of it) without someone judging them or telling them they shouldn't feel the way they do.. And that makes people hide how they really feel rather than 'healing what they feel' by fully expressing it out of their body until they hurt no more.

 

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Quickest way to get over a SICK Feeling

The quickest way to get over a sick feeling is to tell 'your truth' to yourself about it. Tolerating or putting up with a sick feeling will cause you to get physically sick. However, if  you tell 'your truth' to yourself about your sick feeling it will dissolve naturally.

Here is an example from my past about what I am talking about:


Telling Yourself the Truth About An Uncomfortable Body Sensation

(Typed but not proofread)

I have a pain in my stomach, more like my solar plexus.  It is kind of like a stomach ache. It hurts but I don't know what triggered it.. It feels like anger. I have had this pain before, I recognized it as repressed anger.  I am angry but I don't want to be angry. That only makes my anger worse and my pain too.

I am  afraid to express my anger. I don't know how to express my anger. My anger feelings scare me. I am afraid my anger can make me sick, even kill me if I don't release it in a healthy way.  I don't even know what a healthy way would be to release anger.  Anger is a bad thing. Anger is what people feel who are not in control of their lives..

I don't want to share this example with anyone. I would be embarrassed for people to find out that I get angry..  Hmmm. it seems my embarrassment is what causes me to supress my anger in the first place rather than expressing it in healthy ways... I need to work on that..  (and work on it I did. As a result of continuing to write about my anger, the pain I felt in my stomach associated with my anger dissolved naturally.
 

       The Wisdom ANGER has taught me

• Anger ALERTS me when my sense of justice has been violated.
• Anger give me the courage to act when feeling paralyzed or feeling cowardly.
• Anger controlled is my friend, anger out of control is my enemy...
• Anger suppressed can kill me, Anger expressed in healthy ways energizes me  
• Anger gives me strength to move forward when I have no strength left at all.
• Anger strongly felt is trapped energy in the body looking for a healthy outlet.
• Anger in excess is easily released from the body through physical exercise.
• Anger can work for or against me. The choice is always up to me.

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What's Real

What feels real to you is real for you.

Your thoughts will sometimes mislead or lie to you but your feelings never will. 

Good feelings means you are thinking thoughts that are taking you in the direction of what you want. Bad feelings means you are thinking thoughts that are taking you away from what you want.
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In this society emotional honesty is considered bullshit

I don't feel much this morning. In fact, I am hardly feeling anything at all. There is not much I can do with that feeling right now except to ' feel what I feel' as my way of moving through it to the other side.

As I wrote that last sentence, a memory came back to me, several memories, in fact. Memories about people telling me repeatedly over the years that I shouldn't feel 'this or that' when I was in the midst of feeling it.

Telling a person they shouldn't feel angry, depressed etc when, in the moment, they are feeling those emotions is plain stupid. It invalidates them and makes them think they are doing something wrong when all they are doing is being emotionally honest with you in the moment...

In this society emotional honesty is considered bullshit while squashing or suppressing what we truly feel is considered the socially acceptable thing to do. No wonder we have alcohol and drug problems (prescription and otherwise) in our country. Telling people to stuff their feelings is like overloading a gun with gun powder. That action will cause the gun to explode unexpectedly and that is exactly what happens, over time, when you make people stuff their true feelings.

In truth, negative emotions cannot be kept inside you forever. They can either be expressed in healthy ways or they can be denied resulting in those feelings being expressed in the form of physical illness, abuse, violence or suicide.

If you are feeling stressed out, discouraged or any other negative emotion, there is not a damn thing wrong with you for feeling that way. The problem is when you can't release those feelings, then they become a problem for you.

The reason most people can't easily rid themselves of negative emotions is because they resist them rather than accept them for what they are, very human emotions that will harmlessly pass them by if they will allow them to.

When you resist negative emotions, they grow stronger and gain more power over you. When you accept them and honesty express them in healthy ways, they dissolve naturally and lose their power to harm you in any way.

It is easy to release negative emotions. It is as easy as writing them out like I did in this post. Writing out what you feel is the cheapest and the most effective way of releasing negative emotions and feelings without harmful side effect.

In the beginning I felt hardly nothing at all but by expressing my truth to you about feeling that way I moved through that feeling to the other side.  I am now feeling happy and content and looking forward to having a great day.